Going a Little Deeper

It would seem that I’m still caught up in the image of Jacob wrestling with God. The image is compelling. The image of the creature struggling with the Creator is the stuff of Greek tragedy and modern cinema. There is something very primal about it. Perhaps this is why we aren’t really that good at wrestling with God for any great length of time. It’s a struggle that we can’t win. It will take us to places that are totally beyond ourselves. It will take us to depths of self that we simply aren’t comfortable plumbing. At the risk of sounding indelicate…oh well…

To be faithful in our calling in Christ, the wrestling is not only inevitable it is essential. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve conceived of this necessity in the context of dealing with those things in our life, in our choices, in our attitudes and perspectives that run contrary to the Reign of God as revealed in Christ. If there are things that we harbor that run in opposition to God’s purpose of compassion, mercy, reconciliation, redemption and justice then we need to remove these from our life. If we are to say yes to God we must say no to our jealous, arrogant, self-seeking, self-preserving, fence building, and violent ways. These habits and choices simply can not coexist with God in our life of faith.

I’ve been thinking and reflecting on these truths at greater depth in the last few weeks. To say that we must work to remove those things we harbor and protect but are obstacles to a deeper life with God is clear and straightforward. Yet, to simply label them as cancerous tumors that must be poisoned, zapped or cut out because they are “evil” leaves us in a very precarious position. If our focus becomes singularly directed toward “rubbing out the spot” we can find ourselves caught in an endless loop. Think of the image of a dog chasing its tail. Round and round you go…pursuing an illusive target and yet never quite catching it. If you do manage to catch it, it isn’t quite as satisfying as you thought it would be.

If our focus is only turned inward, that is, on what is wrong with us and what our deficiencies are, we loose two pieces of the puzzle that are vital. First, our choices can’t be looked as inherently evil (even though that is an easy argument to make for some of them); they are not problematic because of some deficiency on our part. They are problematic because they are in opposition to God and it is on this basis alone that they are judged. Therefore, it is only as we wrestle with these things in relation to God’s purpose revealed in Christ that we are able to move beyond merely cutting out a cancer and move toward experiencing the healing and wholeness that only God can bring. This brings us to the second piece of the puzzle. God’s purpose is not simply the eradication of sin and the things that would stand between us and God. God seeks restoration and redemption. Get rid of the obstacles, yes; but also experience the promise and power of a new life together with God for all eternity.

This new life is marked by who we are in the essence of our identity and association and what we do and how we live as a consequence of that identity. This is the epic struggle. It is the stuff of legend and myth. It is a wrestling match of cosmic proportions. But if we let that get in the way of going the distance with God the fullness of God’s grace, healing and new life will elude us. I know, it doesn’t seem like much of a choice…but I can say from personal experience that when the dawn breaks after one of these all night matches, God does bless us with a deeper experience of life and grace. Even if the next round in the match turns out to be right around the corner, God will go the distance with us if we are willing to go the distance with God.

Getting Past Being Busy

One of the greatest obstacles to effective discipleship is the nearly constant obsession to be busy and to do the “church” thing. I think we can thank the Protestant Work Ethic for that. Wikipedia defines the Ethic as follows: “a Calvinist value emphasizing the necessity of constant labor in a person's calling as a sign of personal salvation”. The problem is that the ethic has morphed into a cultural of busy-ness in which we get so caught up in doing church that we forget to be the church. We forget that we were redeemed not for a life of being worker ants scurrying about. We were redeemed to be in a meaningful, life-giving relationship with God and with one another within the Body of Christ. This is a relationship that then spills out of us into all our relationships and work in the world.

I’ve been struggling with this disconnect between doing church and being the church for many years. I’m one of those people who like to be busy. I like to be doing things. I like to be productive. Unfortunately I’ve also thought that it was important for me to be able to demonstrate to other people that I am productive…as if this was the only way to prove my worth and earn people’s respect (there is a long story behind this). As my spirituality has developed over these last few years I’ve learned the difference between doing church and being the church. I’ve learned the difference between being a worker in the Kingdom and being a disciple of Christ. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, an obsession with doing things (a-la the Protestant Work Ethic) can, and often does, get in the way of our relationship with Christ and our response to Him in a life of discipleship.

The last few months for me have been one of those very frenetic times; it’s been more about getting things done and trying to meet deadlines than nurturing my relationship with God and deepening my response to God’s grace. As I have prepared for worship this week (Jacob wrestling with God in Genesis 32) I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about the things that I continue to wrestle with God over. I think about woundedness, choices, behaviors, anxieties and fears that don’t serve me well in my relationship with God. I also recognize, like Jacob, that were it not for God’s call and claim on my life, and my willingness to answer God, that none of this would be an issue. However, since I desire to say “yes” to God I must also say “no” to things that aren’t God; hence the struggle.

I can’t overcome this struggle or sanctify these sins by trying to prove my salvation in the work that I do, even if it is “church” stuff. It is only God’s grace that brings this healing and it is only in my willingness through living into a perfecting spirituality that I am immersed in this healing and wholeness. It is only when I, as a primary act, open myself to the relationship and experience of God that I will know this experience. In this, I am moved by the words of Carlo Carretto who writes in his Letters to Docidia: 1954-1983, ”At a certain point it occurred to me that what the Church lacked was not work, activity, the building of projects or a commitment to bring in souls. What was missing, or at least scarce, was the element of prayer, meditation, self-giving, intimacy with God, fidelity to the Holy Spirit and the conviction that [Christ] was the real builder of the Church.” As I write this, I’m reflecting on Jesus’ comment to the disciples, “you will always have the poor with you” and I think it finally makes sense.

Without a deepening relationship with Christ helping the poor is merely charity. It is only through our perfecting, healing, empowering relationship with Christ that our work with the poor becomes discipleship. It is only then that it becomes peacemaking.

Going for a Swim

As you can probably tell, water is an important spiritual image for me. Over my lifetime I’ve had many experiences of God’s grace and presence that could best be described as immersion experiences. My deep affinity for the Hawaiian Islands is rooted in this experience. Being on the islands is very much an immersion experience for me. With such a deep love of Baptismal imagery it should come as a surprise that another image came to mind as I was preparing for worship this week.

I’m looking at the end of the 8^th Chapter of Romans and have been chewing on a well known passage…v28: “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to God’s purpose.” I’m struck again by that notion of God’s purpose and the relentless nature of God’s redemptive purpose in the world. I’m struck again by how God’s purpose might be delayed as a result of the vagaries of the human experience, but that it can never be ultimately subverted. This truth is like the North Star. It is a bedrock truth by which we can anchor our life. This truth is more than a port in the storms of life. It is a truth around which we can shape and order our life.

In my own life I’m growing in my experience of the great stream that is God’s redemptive work in the world. That relentless redemptive work of God flows inexorably through creation, whether we see it or even believe it; it is there. When we make the conscious effort to step into the stream of God’s redemptive purpose in creation, we experience that grace in very different ways. When we step into the stream, we are enveloped by the water. It acts on us. It affects us. When we step into the stream we experience the water in ways that are impossible if we observe the water only from the safety of the dry river bank. We are unable to know the true nature of the stream until we step into it and feel its effects directly.

The same is true about the movement of God’s grace. It’s one thing to read about God’s mighty acts of salvation. It’s one thing to read about creation. It’s one thing to read the Gospel and hear of Christ’s life. Simply reading these words may take us to the river bank and get us within sight of the stream. However, if we are to truly experience and understand the nature and power of the promise contained in the words, we need to get off the bank and get into the stream of God’s work.

When we read Scripture, we need to read it with a heart that wants to see God and expects to see God at work in our life. When we pray, we need to want and expect to hear God walking through the garden of our life. When we extend ourselves to serve the needs of creation and the human community we need to both carry Christ with us and expect to find Christ in the people whom we serve. When we come to the Table we need to come not with the desire to recollect an experience that is relegated to history; we need to come to Christ’s Table expecting to encounter our host. The more we open ourselves to these experiences, the more we will know and the more we will experience the transformation that is part of the stream of God’s redemptive work in creation.

Making Room for Grace to Work

In the realm of Christian Spirituality, the importance of living lives that make room for the grace of God to be at work in us and through us is a cornerstone of living into a perfecting spirituality. My experiences through the Academy reshaped my thinking on this topic and gave me experiences that solidified this truth. Making room for the grace of God to be at work is an active endeavor. It is worked out in our relationships, in our view of the world and especially it is seen in our relationships and encounters with our enemies and with people at the fringes. Two weeks ago I received an amazing experience of the power that is unleashed when a community of people of faith work intentionally to make room for grace to work in them and in their midst.

My week on Sierra Service Project was a truly extraordinary week. I’ve had good weeks before, but never before have I witnessed the level of intentionality in reflecting God’s love as I did in this group of youth and their counselors. Acts of love, mercy and grace were breaking out all over the place. It was amazing. One particular story bears noting.

Early on in the week, I’d heard one of the counselors talking about a person from their group who is autistic. This got my attention because I’d never encountered an autistic youth on SSP. Yet as I surveyed the group, I couldn’t find the person in question. My curiosity faded and I soon forgot to be on the look out for this youth. In fact, I’d forgotten all about it until the final night. Sierra Service Project has a tradition on the last night where a candle is passed around and each participant is given the opportunity to share a word about what the experience has meant to them. About three quarters of the way around the circle, one of the youth took hold of the candle and began to share about the experience and in an instant it was clear that this was the autistic youth…not because of any self-revelation, but their mannerisms made it apparent. This youth spoke of the torment that had been unleashed by their peer group at school and how difficult it made their life. It broke my heart to hear the story but it wasn’t long before my heart was healed by the gratitude that this youth expressed for having been loved and accepted in this community in spite of this obvious difference. I was touched by the privilege of being part of a community that showed this young person a life changing level of love and acceptance. I had spoken with this youth a number of times during the week, with no hint of the autism; which made the whole experience even more fantastic.

This group of youth made room for God’s grace to be at work in them and through them. They loved, accepted and forgave each other (even though it wasn’t always easy). They had patience with one another, even the ones who were less mature, less focused and less easy to relate to. We had our moments of drama through the week, but in the end, God’s Spirit breathed a new and fresh wind into the lives of all these kids. It was all made possible because we were all willing, in one way, shape or form, according to our own experience, to make room for God in our community. It didn’t just happen. It was a conscious choice.

May this be our choice everyday, in every experience.

SSP Work Days 3 & 4

Since yesterday was our traditional half day of work and we went to a water venue, I’ll post two days worth of work in one shot.

The work amongst the different teams that our kids are on has been somewhat uneven. This is the first week of the summer for the Site Staff and they are trying to work out logistical kinks with their suppliers. The consequence of this is that some work sites don’t have enough supplies to do work consistently. The staff has worked hard and creatively to overcome this. It has been amazing the way that our kids have both gelled as a group and also made friends with the kids from the other churches. Sooner or later the kids cross the group boundaries to the extent that it is difficult to tell which kids are from which group. This incredible event happened by Tuesday night (which is very early)

The work day yesterday went well. Since it is a half day, the kids usually push hard to get as much done as possible. The water venue was a campground along Grizzly Creek. It was one of the most beautiful Wednesday settings we’ve ever had. The campground is nestled within a redwood forest. The creek was clean. The air was fresh. The air was warm. This picture is taken around an enormous Sequoia tree. It took the whole group to circle it.

Rylie enjoyed the way that her team has worked together. She was glad that no one really sat around while others worked.

Logan is building a fence and putting in concrete landing pads at the bottom of the stairs. The best part of his day was the “spiritual sandwich”. This is a new wrinkle for the daily program. Our Spiritual Life Coordinator has given each group a discussion topic for the day. Today’s topic was places and experiences in which we’ve seen God. This was the favorite part of Logan’s day.

Janessa was part of the only team that was painting this week. She was up on the roof painting in the gables. For a girl that enjoys the roof, this was great work for her.

Steve’s group is one of the groups that have had a difficult time getting all the supplies that they’ve needed. He and his co-leader have done a great job with keeping their group together through the lulls. Today that experienced the time honored SSP tradition of the FRED. FREDs are times during the work week when staff come around to the work sites to give time and space to explore what they’re experiencing on the Reservation. These can be wonderful times for a team. This was the favorite part of Steve’s day today.

Bonnie has been doing stairs all week. Today they poured the remaining concrete pads and post holes. She has enjoyed her first SSP in a really big way.

I’m so proud of this group of youth. The ones who have never been to SSP love their first experience. The ones who have been before have shown a great deal of growth and maturity from last year. This week is having an extraordinary impact on all of our kids. They are growing in faith and service.

SSP 2008 Work Day 1

It’s been a truly spectacular SSP day…which means no one was on the roof…no one got hurt and it wasn’t 100 degrees. The Table Bluff Reservation where we are serving this year is located on a bluff overlooking Humboldt Bay and it is a truly beautiful site. It is a small reservation on which 8 of the 9 work sites are within site of each other. The ninth site is a few miles up the road in Arcata. We find ourselves doing a lot of handicap ramps this year, which means today there was a lot of digging and tomorrow there will be a lot of concrete being mixed. Wednesday will see a lot of nails driven and probably a few black and blue thumbs.

We are here this year with the Loomis UMC, the Campbell UMC and the Lafayette UMC. This is a great bunch of campers and counselors and we are really meshing well at this point.

Back to the weather…I don’t think it got above 65 all day and the sun didn’t come out until about 1:30 pm. It doesn’t seem like its going to be out for much longer.

There is an extraordinary thing happening this year. The Wiyot people (that’s pronounced WEE’ yot) are cooking us both breakfast and lunch. In 17 years of SSP this has never happened. I’m completely blown away by this gesture.

Now a few kid moments. This was Rachel’s first time on the trip and she is on one of the teams that are doing ramps. When I talked to her today about how it went and what the favorite part of her work day was she talked about how great it was that everyone on her team was pitching in. There was no one on her team that just sat around while others worked. I’m very glad that she had a good first day. For Alex, also a first timer, the demolition that needed to happen before the ramp construction begins was the favorite part of his day.

It’s almost time for evening program, so I’ll cut this short…you can be very proud of this SSP work team. Under Mandy’s leadership the leadership and spiritual maturity of our youth is making a difference in this community. It is a blessing and privilege to share this time with a group of kids that are eager to grow in their discipleship and in their relationship with God through helping other people. While I know that my being here puts a great deal of strain others who pick up my load when I am gone, please know my heartfelt gratitude for all that you do to make it possible for me to be part of this spiritual journey with our youth just as I continue to be challenged in my own.

Until tomorrow…

SSP 2008 Day 2
Yosemite National Park

This was a beautiful day with perfect hiking conditions. We had the largest group ever take the hike…20 people!! Of the 20 who started, 13 made it to the cables, also a record. For those of you who know the hike, it is challenging and even though we were somewhat slowed in coming down the hill we all made it down safe and sound. We really missed you Becca!!!! Love and kisses from all of us.

SSP 2008 Day 3

Our travel day to McKinleyville proved to be quite eventful. Our path to McKinleyville was closed due to the fires that are scattered throughout the forests of Northern California. Steve Gould was working to get me up to visit with Donna Brantly so that we could plan Jim’s Memorial Service and due to the road closures it would have been impossible to see her without missing my flight. The Spirit created a strong pull to be with Donna which necessitated me missing my short trip home to be in worship for Pastor Cathy’s last day. It was with great sadness that I missed that event, but the time spent with Donna proved to be more important than I could have possibly imagined.
Enough about me. It was a long day of traveling for the team, but they made it to McKinleyville and were greeted warmly by Donna’s daughter and son in law. We had stacks of tasty pizza, soda and desserts. It was a wonderful and relaxing place to chat, play games and unwind from the road.
We bedded down for the night in the non-profit Karate dojo that is connected to the Church of the Divine Healer UMC. This is where Donna has been attending these last months with her family. The church was very warm and generous in their hospitality and welcome of us. It was a great place to spend the night and worship the next day.

SSP 2008 Day 4

Sunday was kind of a slow day. We started with Church and while I visited more with Donna and her family the rest of the team went to the movies (Wall-e)…a great time was had by all. After a short drive of 30 minutes we arrived on site and the grand adventure of work began.

SSP Log 2008

Parallel to my regular postings for the next few days I’ll give daily updates about the MUMC Youth Trip to the Sierra Service Project. This year we’re serving the Wiyot people who live just south of Eureka, Ca, near the town of Loleta. This will be my second Project trip to Loleta and I look forward to cooler temperatures and ocean breezes.

Over these next several days I’ll share the events of the day, including pictures. You’ll hear of the different ways in their own words, some of the ways that the youth and other adults are experiencing SSP.

For those unfamiliar with SSP…Sierra Service Project is a non-profit group that runs a serious of one week work camps, in five different locations. These work camps are for Senior High youth and their counselors. The work involves housing rehabilitation and weatherization for Native Americans who live on various reservations in California, Arizona, Nevada and Oregon. More than simply doing work, this experience provides the context for the youth and counselors to explore Christ’s call to service through discipleship in a real world context in a culture setting that is different from our own. This is my 17^th week at SSP since 1989 (the year I graduated from seminary); needless to say the experience is very near and dear to my heart.

Now, on with our story…

With the Staypuft Marshmallow Van in the lead we head north through desert, the mountains and the valley. Our destination for day one is Indian Flat Campground just outside the west gate of Yosemite National Park. This has been a regular haunt for many years now. At about 20 minutes from Yosemite Village, it is a perfect place to stay. Tomorrow, the intrepid among us will head for the trailhead at Curry Village to begin our pilgrimage to the top of Half Dome, hopefully the weather will cooperate and we’ll enjoy the view from the top. Pictures from this trek as well as other pictures of the day will be posted on Saturday as I’ll have no internet connection available on Friday.

Before I loose signal, I’m going to end this note and post it. Until Saturday…

Trust Is a Funny Thing

I had an epiphany a few days ago. At the very least it was a mixed bag. I’d been stressed out over a variety of things in life and ministry and the compounding of these various stresses was working toward leaving me feeling increasingly isolated. In this growing isolation fear was beginning to dictate my action, or lack thereof. The epiphany came within the context of a meeting with my Stewardship leader. We were discussing a plan to encourage our congregation in giving and ministry in the current economic climate. It came to me as bolt from the blue…I wasn’t truly trusting God’s grace and providence nor did I really trust the congregation.

On the one hand it was a breath of fresh air blowing freely into the choking and stagnant fear that was sapping me of energy and passion. The fear had become a burden on my spirit that had grown gradually and imperceptibly. It had become a burden that I didn’t fully fathom until it was lifted from me. With the lifting of the burden came a flood of emotions…it brought me to tears and to my knees. The pathway that I’m called to follow is a pathway of trust over fear. I was reminded that I can trust God and I can trust this congregation. In so many things over the last eight years this congregation has given me abundant experiences that should have bolstered my trust…but instead I doubted.

There in lies the downside of the epiphany. I felt deeply convicted in the lack of trust. It would be all too easy to be intemperate with myself in this. As it has always been in matters such as this, God’s grace was sufficient to not only bring me back, but heal the guilt of having forgotten such a fundamental truth. I’m not sure if this is a sign of cynicism or spiritual maturity, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this won’t be the last time that I’ll need to have this epiphany. Such is life. Though I may very likely loose the grip on what I know now, in this moment I trust God, to always bring me back.

This trust has now broadened my platform for moving forward and answering Christ’s call and claim on me. It feels very much life a reaffirmation of my baptism. I have been immersed in God’s providential healing and grace, dying to the fear that sought to burden me and being raised to a new life of strength and courage. This is simply one more reminder that new life is always breaking out all around us if we would have the eyes to see and hearts open to the promise.

Synchronous Experience

As I have been pondering Paul’s writing about baptism in Romans 6 there have been some incredibly powerful images that have been coming to mind. While I haven’t before thought thoroughly through Paul’s conception of being buried with Christ and being raised with Christ I have had some unspoken and unreflective assumptions. The sense of it that I was most comfortable with was the notion of being alongside Christ. The language that best describes this is “the journey with Christ”, a phrase I’ve used a lot. My unreflective, default belief is best described as proximity. Being with Christ was simply a matter of being close to Christ; and with a disciplined spirituality seeking to be as close as possible. A closer study of Romans 6 has drawn me to a new conception. When I got there, I’ve found that this new conception was already a reality that I have been living into over these last two years. I simply lacked an image that matched experience

When Paul speaks of being buried and resurrected with Christ this is not simply a proximity-based reality. Paul is speaking of a reality that is more like incorporation or even co-mingling. In our baptism, Paul points to a transformation of life, identity and perspective that is rendered at the very core of a person. This transformation is affected by God’s grace in and through the life, death and resurrection of Christ.

As I reflect on these words and my own growing experience, I am persuaded of the strength and power of this idea. Through living a more disciplined spiritual life I’m discovering a new heart and a new strength for living, loving and serving. This new strength is rooted in a deeper experience and understanding of how Christ is at work in my life. My relationship with Jesus is no longer a proximity experience. Christ’s life is becoming more alive in me and my experience is becoming more alive in Christ. I’m finding great vitality and joy in a synchronous experience with Christ.

Coming to My Senses

In the last few weeks I’ve become consumed with a great many worries. Some of these worries we carry together…unrelenting war, the deepening of poverty in our country and world, a mortgage and credit crisis that is pinching many families, the costs of food and energy, a spiritual malaise that deprives us of the life and dignity that God intends for us all. I also carry the concern for how best to answer God’s claim on my life as I work to lead this community of faith forward in discerning God’s preferred future for our congregation. On top of all of this, Sally and I are preparing to send a daughter to college in an uncertain world where the costs of such an education continue to rise. I have been consumed. In the last couple of days, I’ve come to my senses and realized that I’ve been wandering in the wilderness in this worry.

It is so easy to get here. We start out with giving these worries, needs and concerns to God. We know that giving these things to God is something that God welcomes. We know that worrying about such things very often gets in our way with a deepening relationship with God. Pretty soon after we stop giving these worries, needs and concerns to God our focus turns inward and we lose sight of God. It’s very much like a trip to the store with young children. We make sure that the child knows that it is important that he/she pay attention to us and not get separated. How many times does the child get distracted by something of interest, look away and then realize that they’ve lost sight of you. How easy it is for us to get distracted by the many things that weigh on us and then lose sight of God’s movement in our life.

That moment of coming to our senses can be a difficult moment. It can be a moment of panic. It can be a moment of confusion. It can be a moment of paralysis as we don’t know where next to go or how to find our way back to God and back to the path. “Now what?” I think we can take a lesson from the National Park Service. When lost in the wilderness, the rangers will remind people to not go wandering. Searchers have a better chance of finding you if you stay put. Spiritually speaking this is what the Psalmist proclaims in the 40^th Psalm when he writes: “I waited patiently for the Lord, in time God hear my cry. He lifted my feet upon the rock out of the miry bog.” When I came to my senses and realized where I was, I simply waited for and looked for God in the silence of my wilderness. As I began to relinquish the death grip on the things that worried and distracted me, I felt the refreshing and life giving movement of the Holy Spirit. God came to me to renew me, take me by the hand and raise my feet upon the rock.

In a world where there is a lot to worry about…In a world that is looking less and less like we’re used to seeing it, it is easy to be consumed by our own needs, worries and fears. Even when we grow in our discipleship, trust and relationship with God we will never completely outgrow our distractability. The grace and the good news is that even when we are so distracted, God is never absent from us. God will and does continue to sustain us even though we may not realize it at the time. When we come to our senses and engage the trust to wait for the Lord, to look for the Lord who is present, God will indeed always raise our feet upon the rock.

Our life, our world and our future is in God’s hands. This doesn’t mean there won’t be trials. This doesn’t mean that we won’t face adversity. The path to the life that God has in mind for us means that we continue to walk through an uncertain world. Because of what God has shown us in the cross and resurrection of Christ we can walk through this uncertain world in faith and trust. When we pledge our self to this path, God, by His grace, will always encourage and strengthen us to walk this path.

Pentecost Has New Meaning

The incredible blessings that I received yesterday yielded some unexpected results today. As we came to the house today there was a spirit of strength that washed over me. Experiencing with such depth and power the reason that we were all in Mississippi doing the work that we were doing brought with it a power that overcame a very slow morning. Let’s just say that the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. We’ve been working pretty hard and after a very rich meal last night (our team went to a local restaurant) I was really slow getting moving. When we got to the house all of that changed.

We had a larger crew this morning. Because of the amount of work and the urgency to get this house online, we brought in additional people from our larger crew. Dave, our team leader, did a stellar job moving us around the house to maximize our work. I finished framing a doorway in the upstairs hallway. This was a project that I had begun yesterday and ran out of material to finish. It didn’t take long to finish the job, and then I got to work with my colleague from the San Dieguito church on hanging drywall. We split up the work and went after it. Even though there was a pretty strong wind outside, the temperature was warming up and the southerly wind was pumping humidity into the region. The upstairs got warmer and warmer. As warm as it was, I was completely undeterred. I was extraordinarily energized to continue the work. I realized that each nail pounded, each piece of drywall hung got the house one step closer to occupy. Each piece of the project we completed in this house moved the Gulfside Assembly one step closer to being rebuilt that it might continue its vital ministry on the Gulf Coast.

This energizing had only one source. I know that it was the work of the Holy Spirit in me and through me that moved me and motivated me. The way I felt this morning when I woke up, the Spirit’s power is the only thing that could motivate me. Through the course of the afternoon as I began the journey home, I began to experience the realization that I have experienced a new and deeper lesson of Pentecost. I came to Mississippi looking for Jesus. I was totally open to experiencing the power and presence of Christ in a new way in my life. I had no idea what this new experience would look like, but that didn’t deter me. I sought to be open, aware and prayerful. I sought to be faithful to the mission that I was called to do in Mississippi. In this, Christ revealed himself to me in the work, through my teammates and through the people of the Mississippi Gulf Coast.

The Pentecost experience and the power of the Holy Spirit are about God’s work of claiming and empowering ordinary people who seek to be faithful to their calling in Christ to do extraordinary things in the world. The Spirit can, and does work independently of us, but like on the day of Pentecost when Peter and the others, through faith and trust in Christ opened themselves up to the Spirit’s movement, the world was never again the same. I experienced that power in Mississippi this week and I look forward to sharing that experiencing and looking for that experience in Murrieta.

Come Holy Spirit, Come!!!

From the skies over northern Alabama, May 8, 2008, 10:35 pm.

What it’s All About

Today was an extraordinary blessing. It was unexpected, as so many blessings are. I began my day back at Robert’s house and spent some time sanding and looking over the drywall mudding we did yesterday. Our crew had heard that a move was coming. There was another house that needed some immediate work. Mid-morning our crew leader came back, loaded us and took us to a home that was being rebuilt from sticks. It was part of a neighborhood that had been inundated with water and silt from a the storm surge and a nearby flooded river. This job would consist of a large drywall job and some other carpentry projects to move it forward to get it habitable. We arrived at the house and dove right in. There we met Tony who was on-site as something of a foreman.

We didn’t get a chance to talk with Tony at any great length in the morning because we had to get on the job. However, he joined us for lunch and shared his story. He talked about his life before and after Katrina. He talked about the devastation and explained more of what we were seeing around us. Some of the pictures that I have show trees that are little more than sticks, waiting for the next storm to blow them over. Tony explained that the force of the wind picked up saltwater from the Gulf and not only stripped the vegetation clean, but also sandblasted the trunks. Tony shared stories of how the insurance companies wanted to raise rates 400% immediately after the storm. The state stepped in and limited their increase to 99%.

The most beautiful thing that he shared with us from his story occurred after the storm. A few days after the storm he and his wife were driving back from Birmingham and stopped at a gas station to fill up (how they came to that station is another story altogether). While at the gas station they were talking with a woman whom they just met. This woman and her family had two homes, one in town, and one out in the country. This woman offered Tony and his wife, whom she’d just met, the use of her country home for as long as they needed it. A complete stranger offers shelter to this family in need…as I type this story I can hear the words of Jesus echo throughout my spirit – whenever you do this to the least of these members of my family you do it unto me. The Spirit of Christ is indeed moving powerfully in this world.

What made this day extraordinarily special was what came at the end of the day. We ended our day a little early because we had a celebration to go to. One of UMCOR’s clients was able to move back into his home. I’ve been to many housing blessings in my ministry and this is always a great privilege. Today as I stood with all the people working out of Gulfside this week, placing my hand on that home and asking God’s blessings I could feel the Spirit moving in our midst. This is what it’s all about: One family at a time getting people back into their homes. Over 100 volunteers worked on that home taking it from sticks to what it is today. The owner was so grateful and he knew and bore witness to the fact that it was the Spirit of Christ that made it all possible. This experience makes this week all worthwhile. Through the course of the day, I had three different people say to me that they didn’t know how they’d get by and reclaim their homes without the church’s help and the work of the volunteers. That is why I am in Mississippi this spring. That is why we will take a large contingent from Murrieta UMC and return to continue to serve.

The final blessing of the day came when I discovered who would be living in the house we were moved to today. When I met Wilma at the end of the day, I assumed she would be living there. Later I found out that the home was being prepared for the new Director of Gulfside Assembly, the camp where we are staying and staging from. This Camp, with this incredible history, which was so utterly devastated and chose first to serve rather than be served, is about to be rebuilt so that it may continue its camping and retreat ministry. The new Director is tasked with making that happen. I feel incredibly blessed and privileged to care for and support the life and ministry of this person.

From Waveland, MS, May 7, 2008, 9:26 pm.

Do Crawfish Really Migrate?

The week is settling into a pretty busy routine. Today was a full and hard day of work. The house I moved to yesterday afternoon was the site of today’s work…a day full of drywall, mudding and taping. I actually learned something useful. The owner of the home constantly amazes me at his drive to reclaim his life and his home. I feel a little convicted about how easy it is for me to do things other than invest time and effort in my home.

The question posed in the title of this blog is a little frivolous but it is born out of the unique character of this part of the world. As we were driving home from our sight yesterday we noticed several houses that had these curious mud mounds in their yards. No one in the van knew what they were so we had several speculations. Some thought they might be some sort of bird that nested in the ground. Some thought that they might be wasp nests in the ground. Still others thought that they might be anthills…after all, this is fire ant country. There were no conclusions. Today as we were wrapping up our day we were talking with our homeowner and he informed us that those mud volcanoes are mad by crawfish. They live underground in this part of the world and when it rains they push the mud up through the ground to allow oxygen to get down to their homes. Then Robert informed us that the crawfish will migrate the rivers, streams, lakes and drainage canals that crisscross the region. These migrations will even take them to the freeway (I-10) where they will cross the freeway and people have been know to pull over with coolers and start throwing the crawfish into them…et-tufe anyone?

Since I’ve gotten through the initial shock of the stripped trees, abandon driveways, stilted houses and all that the aftermath of Katrina has held I am able to engage in a sense of wonder at the truly unique place and culture that I find here. I must admit that until this afternoon I never considered or even cared, for that matter, whether or not crawfish migrate. This serves as a simple reminder of how easy it is to miss the wonders of the world we live in. This has been a day blessed with a strong sense of possibility. With each piece of drywall, every nail hammered, every pass with the drywall mud Robert and his family moved one step closer to occupying their new home. With each new family that moves into their new home, the region is one step closer to recovering and reclaim what Katrina had taken away. Each step closer to recovery is one step closer to healing. It was indeed a good day.

From Waveland, MS, May 6, 2008, 10:30 pm.

What Would It Take?

This is a thought that runs through my mind as I walk the gulf shore neighborhood neat Camp Gulfside. There is a lot of rebuilding going on in the Waveland area. In fact, today I met two different homeowners on whose homes I worked. Each of these homeowners is receiving grant assistance to rebuild and they are investing a good deal of sweat equity in the project. These two families are working hard to reclaim what was taken by the Gulf.

The house that I worked on in the morning is about 3 miles inland from the Gulf. When the storm surge came through this neighborhood it was at least 20 feet deep…3 miles inland. For this family rebuilding seemed to be very matter of fact…likewise for the house that I hung sheetrock in this afternoon. This family took extraordinary measures to build their home to be as hurricane resistant as possible. They are less than two miles inland. This young family was going to do everything they could do to weather the next storm.

There is plenty of evidence of like minded families in this region of the Gulf Coast. There are a number of homes that have been rebuilt of brick. Others have been built on stilts, some even as tall as 25 feet off the ground. I have to admit there is a certain ‘three little pigs’ quality to what I’m seeing. Every one who is rebuilding is trying to be prepared for the next big hurricane. There is a resilience that is pretty amazing given the stories that I’ve heard.

There is however, another side that is painfully visible. Within a short walk from the camp, there are a number of driveways that come up from Beach Blvd. and go nowhere. To walk about these driveways, many overgrown from what would seem to be years of neglect and abandonment, there is a sadness that washes over you when you realize that there is no home. With some of these lots there is no foundation left. There is no way to know for sure if the slabs were washed away by the storm or simply demolished after the storm. The driveways seem sadly out of place and forlorn. Where the slab is gone there is no way to know for sure the size of the house, but it seems apparent that some of them were fairly good size homes. Many of these homes were such that you could walk out the driveway across the road and out onto a dock that went some distance over the water. Now, the pilings are the only remnants.

One particular lot captured my attention. This is a corner lot of some good size. There was what appeared to be a fairly new swimming pool. The trees were large, mature and though cut back now seemed once to be majestic. From one tree there was the rusted chain which no doubt held a swing. A second tree had hanging from it a now frayed rope. A beautiful Gulf Coast home with a pool, a swing, and large shady trees to climb would have been an idyllic place to grow up. The whole scene seemed to exude memories, now in the form of ghosts of what had been. The lot was overgrown and nailed to a tree was a plaintive sign, almost a plea, “For Sale”. This was not a slick realtor sign. It was simple and handwritten with a number to call.

What is the difference between these families? What could possibly account for the different response? What could have happened in the heart and head of a family who seemed to be giving up so much for them to turn from their memories and leave? I have no answers. I’m not sure there are answers. I’m not sure there needs to be answers. The response is simple…either one steps forward to rebuild, to reclaim what had been taken from them, or one doesn’t.

In our life of faith we have the same choices when battered by the storm. Either we, by God’s grace and with God’s help, reclaim our life or we don’t. Either we recognize that God raises us up from the pit and sets our feet on a rock or we remain bogged down in the mire. The choice is ours to make. The path to follow is always before us.

From Waveland Mississippi, May 5, 2008 5:40 pm.

Greetings from Waveland, Mississippi

After much anticipation I’ve arrived on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I arrived, but I was still shocked at the extent to which the devastation is still evident. I had the good fortune of getting a small tour as we travelled west from the Gulfport/Biloxi Airport to Waveland. We passed through the communities of Pass Christian, Bay St. Louis and Waveland on our way to United Methodist Camp Gulfside located right on the Gulf of Mexico. My guide was a relief worker assigned to supervisor one of the other UM relief sites. He has been here long enough to get the lay of the land and to know some of the stories. As we drove along the coast the 25 miles from the airport to our final destination I was blown away by the stories of wind and water.

Three years later the Gulf Coast in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina is still a study of contrasts. Brand new houses and signs of life are interspersed with broken and deformed trees, empty foundations, driveways that go nowhere and orphaned stilts that were designed to raise a house high enough to avoid the storm surge of a hurricane. Old plantation homes, small cottages, modest family homes, houses of worship, businesses, municipal buildings, bridges, rail lines, sewers, water, gas and electricity, none were strong enough to withstand the force of the wind and water that came ashore with the eye of the storm right at the place where I write this post from. Nearly three years post-Katrina this area is coming back to life with the help of countless volunteers and yet there are still tens of thousands of homes in this region that are not even touched. The difference between new homes and empty slabs is the common story in our world…the folks with means or insurance are clawing their way back. The ones without are living in FEMA trailers and “Katrina Cottages” navigating the maze of governmental and parochial assistance to re-establish their homes.

Another contrast is this place…Camp Gulfside. This 65 acre parcel has been owned and operated as a Gulf-front camp and retreat center for 80 some years. On this parcel, pre-Katrina, there were 14 buildings that serviced the camp. Post-Katrina, after 25 feet of wind driven water, that number dropped to ZERO. I write to you from a building donated by the military. The contrast is fueled by the history of this place. For forty years of this camp’s existence it was the only place in this part of the Gulf Coast that residents of African descent could freely come and enjoy the soft white sand and warm gulf waters. From its inception in the 1920’s through the civil rights era this camp was an oasis, it was a way-station that guarded the dignity of persons in Christ’s name.

Again, even in its devastated condition, Camp Gulfside is an oasis. It is a place where thousands of volunteers have passed through and rested in the work of bringing a tangible example of Christ’s love to a broken and battered community. We were reminded of why we are here as we sat at orientation this evening. The question was asked “what is the difference between our mission and our task?” The true distinction, given by one of my fellow volunteers is this…Our task is the work on the houses. Our mission is to live out and embody the love of God that we have known in Christ…a love that brings healing and hope in the midst of death and devastation. And so it begins for us.

Come Lord Jesus, Come.

From Camp Gulfside, Mississippi, May 4, 2008, 10:49 pm.

Service as a Spiritual Discipline

In the eight months since I completed the Two Year Academy I've had a growing understanding of service as a Spiritual Discipline. This is an important distinction for the church to make. In some traditions service is an obligation that the community carries as a burden. In other traditions, service is a metric by which that community measures it’s self. Still other traditions engage in service with only the vaguest notion that somewhere in Scripture Jesus expects us to do good things for other people. Make no mistake, when the hungry are fed, the naked clothed and compassion made tangible these are all Kingdom tasks.

However, when service is rooted only in a temporal reality, that is, when our motivation for doing ministry is only about the need that is immediately in front of us, we miss an important, longer view of the Kingdom of God. The deeper question of what drives us into these Kingdom acts is a vital question for Christian spirituality. Are we simply about doing an ethical approximation of what Jesus is reported to have done in the Gospels? Approaching service as a spiritual discipline has helped me distinguish this difference.

This wasn’t an overnight change for me. In fact it happened over many years as I wrestled with the nature of Christian service, the call to discipleship and a yearning for a deeper relationship with God. Since I began my ministry in the local church, I’ve been fairly certain that the work of Christian ministry was more than just going through the motions of “doing church”. I’ve known that there was a “being” component to this work that was rooted deeply within a relationship with Christ. Over the years I think I’ve grown in my ability to bear witness to that distinction and to draw people more deeply into a way of serving that was more than rote and more than doing something simply because I asked them. There was still something missing. There was a connective piece that I couldn’t quite get my hands on.

I realize now that my conversations, my preaching, my teaching and my leading were more academic than experiential. I knew that I was on the right track. But because I lacked the experience of service as a spiritual discipline, it was difficult to lead others there. A couple of months ago I could feel a shift in my spirituality. Through the time of the Academy, much of my focus was internal. My disciplines were very inwardly focused. A couple of months ago I could feel the focus shift. I began to see ways, open doorways through which I could go into the world and express in tangible ways the grace that I had experienced in my inward journey of spiritual formation. I began to experience what I’d been saying and preaching for some years…that serving others as Christ served is not simply the matter of the right task list. To serve as Christ served is rooted in deep and life giving relationships…first with God and then with others. The intimacy of His relationship with God the Father and the intimacy of His relationship with the disciples and those whom he served was the pathway of effectiveness.

The lesson for me is that the metric for faithful discipleship is not the quantity of tasks that we are able to check off at the end of the day. Rather, faithful service is measured by the quality of all of our relationships and that they are in effect means of God’s grace poured out in the world. I know that my ability to serve in this way begins with the time I offer to God…to know God…to hear God…to simply sit in silence with God. If I’m not engaged with God in this way, I’m just “doing church.”

Reflection Rather Than Reaction

We live in a culture in which Christian discipleship is becoming increasingly difficult. We are treated as consumers whose value is assessed in what we are able to buy. We are marketed to based on age, gender, ethnicity and spending power. We are given very little credit in this culture as rational, thinking, reflecting people. In fact, in the marketing game, the people doing the marketing don’t want us to think; they only want us to react. We are to go on impulse. Don’t think about whether or not you really need a given consumer item…if you want it, buy it.

This philosophy runs across the board. From consumer items to politics we are marketed to not because we have something substantive to add but because we have something that someone else wants…a dollar or a vote. OK…I know that this sounds pretty cynical. I suppose to a certain extent it is. However, I want to elevate the discussion. Each one of us is more, far more, than our spending power, our demographic category or our party affiliation. Each one of us has a life that is a sacred gift from a Creator who loves and values each person. Our life has meaning far beyond our utility. Each one of us is an instrument of grace through whom God works to reveal God’s love, grace and purpose. Through our relationship with Christ we are able to see that purpose and engage that purpose in meaningful ways as we work with Christ to reveal God’s reign in our midst.

To engage this purpose we are called to do more with our life than react to the whims and the fancies of a culture that would strip us of our humanity if we would let it. We are called to a life of faith that is constantly growing and being shaped by the outpouring of God’s grace. This life is a reflective life. For centuries, Christians have engaged in reflective lives where we look at our life in terms of how and where we see God at work. St. Ignatius of Loyola practiced what is known as the Examen. At the end of his day he engaged in a reflection of all that had happened in that day through the eyes of faith and an understanding of how God was at work and where God was present. I’ve come to know the Examen as very valuable discipline in my life. I have not always followed the full pattern of the Ignatian rule, but even a basic pattern of coming to the end of the day and reflecting on the grace of God that I’ve experienced continues to draw me closer to God’s heart. Generally, I combine this reflection with journaling as a way of having a conversation with myself and with God. The times in my life in which I have engaged in this practice more intentionally are the times when I have felt less reactive in my life and more proactive. That is who we are called to be in Christ…proactive to work for and reveal God’s reign through Christ in all that we do.

In a culture where we are expected only to react, the Examen is counter culture. It is a practice of faith that draws us beyond our basest instincts into a life of openness and gratitude where we become more and more able to discern the movement, direction and call of Christ as he travels in our world and bids us to follow. The more effectively we discern God’s movement in our everyday life, the more we understand who we are and who Christ calls us to be. The Examen gives a disciple the opportunity to name the things for which he/she is thankful in the day. It is an opportunity to name the challenges to faith and practicing Christ’s presence that exist in a given day. It is a day to celebrate one of the greatest gifts that God gives us…to recognize that and where God’s grace is poured out. It is the opportunity to encounter the movement of God’s love in ways that we might miss if we spend our day simply reacting to the stimulus of the world.

When we stop at the end of our day, and even periodically during our day, we have the opportunity to see the great wealth and even the unexpected ways that God is present. The more we exercise this vision, the better we see. The better we see, the more we recognize God. The more we recognize God, the stronger our witness to God and the more effectively we reveal the Kingdom.

Hospitality as a Spiritual Discipline

The Walk to Emmaus story in the 24^th Chapter of Luke’s Gospel is an amazingly rich story for growth in spiritual formation. The story of Cleopas and his unnamed companion holds a mirror up to us in our walk of faith and our efforts to make sense of the Christian faith story. Like Cleopas, we know the elements of the story of Easter and the birth, life and death of Jesus. We know the story, but seeing Christ…having a life giving and energizing encounter with the risen Christ is something that seems fleeting if not altogether elusive. The Walk to Emmaus story teaches us volumes how we can see Christ in the world and in our life.

The nuts and bolts of information weren’t enough for Cleopas and his friend. Even after the hidden Christ revealed more and more nuanced information than they had before, it still wasn’t enough to open their eyes to the Christ who stood before them. It wasn’t enough to dispel the clouds of confusion that continued to swirl around them. At the end of the day (literally as well as figuratively) it took as simple, routine act of hospitality to clear away the fog. They engaged in what was expected of them…welcoming into their home a stranger. They opened their life and their home to the hidden Christ. At the invitation, Jesus entered into their life and then gave them a gift. In an act of breaking bread at the table, in response to their invitation, the risen Christ revealed Himself to Cleopas and his friend. When they saw him they believed what they had seen and heard and then recognized how Christ had really been present with them all along.

The simple act of hospitality was the key that unlocked their awareness. Our encounter with the risen Christ is not driven by what we know, or what we think we know. We see the risen Christ when in spite of what we know, don’t know or think we know, we are willing to home our heart to him. This opening of our self and our life is an act of welcome. It is an act of hospitality. Service is one form of the act of hospitality. When in Matthew’s Gospel we hear Jesus remind his disciples that when they care for the poor, the hungry, the imprisoned, the sick and the outcast they care for him, the road to seeing Christ could not be any clearer for us. We find Christ in the face of those we reach out to.

The interesting and important piece of this form of hospitality is that it is not done grudgingly. It is not done with an air of superiority. It is not done in the spirit of something being done unto another. Hospitality as service…hospitality as a spiritual discipline is accomplished when one person recognizes the humanity of another, recognizes a need and then serves that need with no thought of reward or return. This becomes the quintessential human relationship. This is one person walking the road with another out of mutual love and support. This is what Jesus does on the road to Emmaus. This is what Cleopas and his friend do for Jesus. This is what Jesus does when he blesses the meal he is offered. This was how Jesus was revealed.

When we want to see Jesus today in our life and world the road is pretty clear; make room for a brother or sister you encounter on the path. Be open to not only what you can do for them, but what blessing of grace you might receive from them. When we share with one another in this spirit of love, openness and welcome, Christ is present.

Practicing Resurrection

As I was preparing for my day, I was struck with an interesting concept for spiritual formation and discipleship. It’s not likely new in the grand scheme of discipleship…in fact it may not even be new to me. What I do know is that it struck a particularly strong chord with me today. So the question is, what would it look like to practice resurrection as a spiritual discipline or discipleship practice?

As I bask in the afterglow of an especially meaningful Easter, resurrection as a present reality is more tangible to me now than at any time I can remember. From a theological perspective, I’ve known resurrection as both an after death reality and a here and now reality. Resurrection isn’t simply a hope that is held in trust for us until we die, it is a power and a hope we draw from every day of our life of faith. With all of the challenges that I’ve been through this past year and the healing that I’ve experienced, the promise of new life is more tangible for me. Head knowledge has become heart knowledge. The heart knowledge has tapped a well spring of strength, courage and vision that had largely been buried or, at the very least, obscured by the stuff that still cluttered my life. The key to practicing resurrection as a spiritual discipline is to live out of this heart knowledge, out of the lived experience of God’s grace.

So, begin where you are. Where have you experienced healing in body or in spirit? Remember a time when you “woke up” out of the haze of conflict or trial and you saw the world around you differently. Remember one of those “a-ha” moments when there was new insight or new awareness of God’s presence in your life. Reach back into your experience and remember one of those times. What was it like? What went through your heart? Have you got that time, even if it is only a moment (and a fleeting one at that)? The discipline of practicing resurrection is to continue to live in the power of that experience. Make no mistake, this is not about freezing time and arresting the clock. Practicing resurrection is about creating more and more space in our life for that power (and it is Spirit power) to work at healing, transforming, refining and clarifying our life, our practice and our witness. Practicing resurrection is about an active life of prayer, journaling and reflection. It is about allowing the Spirit, in concert with our disciplines, to create more and more space in our life to experience that power at greater breadth and greater depth.

Imagine it this way…you’re standing in the middle of a dirty floor with a broom. You look down and you realize that you’re standing on the only clean place on the floor. Yet you don’t concentrate on how dirty the rest of the floor is, you realize you’re standing in a clean place and it gives you joy and peace to be in that place. Then you begin to realize that by using the broom, you can expand that clean area a piece at a time. Bit by bit, the floor becomes clean, your joy increases because there is more and more room that is tidy and ordered.

Practicing resurrection is an intentional discipline of living into the hope we find, whenever we find it and wherever we find it. If it is fleeting, we don’t lament what isn’t there, we revel in the experience we’ve been given and open our self to new and deeper experiences of the Spirit. The more we learn to practice this life of hope and power, the more we realize that this is the real world. This life of resurrection is the life that God intends for all of us through the grace in Christ. We need not be mired in the stuff of this world. It is fleeting, finite and base. Resurrection is life, beauty and promise.