Completing Another Loop

I have a strong “full-circle” feeling these days. My first posting on this blog was about experiencing silence as a spiritual discipline. I remember feeling energized and empowered as the Holy Spirit opened silence up to me. No longer was silence a dark hole that was daunting and fierce. Learning silence as an open and inviting reality in which I could know and be known more fully by God has been a gateway to a perfecting spirituality.

The strength of this experience and the impact of silence in my life and spirit are reflected in my rule of life. I’ve come to realize that it is easy for me to live life at break neck speed. When feeling pushed and stressed I can simply barrel ahead. In this mode, I put my ahead down and go. At times like this it is rare that I would even lift my head to make sure I’m going in the desired direction. Sometimes I’ve ended up in unfamiliar and even undesirable places. As I’ve consciously worked to put silence at the center of my rule of life I’m finding that is slowing me down at the times I’d be prone to barrel ahead. That period of silence, to pause and swim in the fullness of God’s presence, reorients me to the path I’m on. I’m finding great solace and strength in this discipline.

To say that I’m finding a purpose in silence is not completely accurate. To have silence at the center of my life is more than seeing silence as a tool. There is a temptation to think of this experience as “retreating” into silence. These moments of pause are anything put retreat. I have a deep desire to walk this path with God more fully and more completely. Living out of silence instead of living frantically I feel more fully grounded to the path. For so much of my life and ministry I’ve found myself running from one big idea to the next searching for something that always seemed beyond my sight and understanding. This pattern of life made for a pretty scattered existence. In the last few weeks, I’ve been learning silence as the core experience with God that takes me out of this pattern of running and searching. It’s as if I’ve discovered gravity.